We were shocked, the men at least, this cold emotionless, pragmatic species were shocked, we refused at first to believe that this people actually knew each other then it hit us that girls don't pretend.
“if I didn't used to talk to her in high school why should I talk to her now?”
really? This is a valid viewpoint among the female society. When I see someone I knew from high school I will say hi. There are people I didn't talk to for all four years I was in a class with 80 people in all and I still didn' talk to them. The space between us was where conversation came to die, a laboured, painful yet awkwardly quiet death. But I see those guys now and I say hi. I stop to have a conversation and I know exactly how the conversation will go.
“sema it's been a while.”
“yeah, yeah 't has”
at this point conversation remembers to die and shows the first signs of death, desperate to resuscitate it because I have known this guy for so long I go to the standard small talk reserved for old high school friends. The kind of conversation that signals we should both look for a way out of standing there staring at each other.
“so what do you do nowadays?”
“eh, where?”(this is asked knowing you don't care the slightest it's just what's done)
-insert answer here, no-one ever remembers it anyway unless it's a shocking development(if someone was working for the Kenya Lightning and Power Company I would definitely remember)- this answer is followed up by a cursory “you, still at law school?”
“yeah I finish this sem so am almost done.”
“cool, cool(this is also done so nonchalantly you would think it was a Russian spy talking to you)”
“weh, I have to run”
End of conversation. That's it. That is a conversation I will have ten in the next 3 months with slight variations to speak in swa sometimes and ask about mutual friends. This is a burden men carry all the time, everywhere. And women just choose to cast it off.
They pass by each other without even a head nod. And I had to find out why.
Apparently women think there is something wrong with pretending, they act like it's some kind of plague when it is not. Lies are the oil that moves the world fullstop(i wrote it down for emphasis-the fullstop-)
If you have a moral aversion to it then don't do it. We stain our souls enough as it is but if you don't think it is a moral wrong (and I don't) then there is no problem with it. It makes people happy and the refrain to this was
“it's not my job to make people happy”
no it is not your job. But can there really be anything wrong with making people happy. I would do that for free, it makes me glad to know that someone's sense of self worth has been affirmed by an act I found meaningless and cost me five minutes of my time. That's not even saintly, it's lazy and it works. Do it for karma, do it so that someone does it to you one day. You may be walking around and all you need is a smile to make the day bearable and that scintilla of pretence, that isle of a lie will be all you need to make your day better.
Happiness is something that should be spread around like a lather if you can. It makes my life better for all involved. A smile raises the average rate of happiness in the world, so raise it. So I am asking you to pretend for someone today. Pretend you are happy to see them, pretend you care about their day, pretend that smile is for them. There really is nothing wrong with it.
I don't think that pretending makes you a worse person unless you are pretending about something that matters. If it will hurt someone to know that you pretended then don't.