My notebook was stolen from me this week, or maybe I lost it, I can't really be sure, but I hope it was stolen, with all my heart I hope it was stolen. Here's why.
When I finished school I promised myself the month of July, I pledged that month to me and the pursuit of hedonistic pleasures, I would not work or accept work, I would not even begin to look for work, no that month that was for breezing through life, being a lout, a bum, a lush. Mission accomplished.
But that's not why I hope my notebook was stolen and not just lost, the reasons behind that are much deeper and make that wish much clearer. You know why hedonism is bad? Why some people believe that a life spent solely in the pursuit of pleasure is a life wasted, left by the wayside, not contributing to itself or humanity? Its for a lot of reasons but its also because hedonism comes at a cost, you lose things. I lost things in that month. People can lose opportunities for a more meaningful life, they can watch relationships fade away into nothing. I lost too. In fact I lost two, two phones
I was a victim of both alcohol and people who teach alcoholics a lesson in time management and flexible thinking, “you can club and earn,” they whisper in our ears metaphorically, as they snatch something valuable, a phone, a wallet, a wad of notes, these thieves who prey on the inebriated at night are telling them that at least they(the thieves) aren't just whiling away their lives, they aren't being hedonistic, rather they are industrious people. Thieving, whoring and drinking are after all the only universal 24 hour economic sectors known to man. So the thieves steal from the drunks and call-girls get this money anyway.
I lost 2 phones in 3 weeks and when that happened I didn't want to keep providing some thief's wages. After all tax on alcohol is almost 100%, I was paying so much of this tax I felt that I needed special tax breaks, a tax plan for me and people like me. The government is taking out of this pocket, the thieves the other.
One of two things had to happen. I had to stop drinking or I had to stop carrying my phone anywhere I went. One or both and I decided on both. There's this local I go to where I can get drunk if I so please in the company of people who are a pleasure to be in the company with. Hanging out with these people is so good I can actually do it while they are all drinking and am not. So it was possible to leave my phone and not drink. but you see being so near a temptation and watching people indulge in that temptation means chances of you being tempted are pretty high. And I asked myself what the point was of both not carrying a phone and not drinking but I remembered that just because a car has seatbelts doesn't mean you don't put in airbags.
So I left the house cloaked in my two safety devices, a resolve not to drink and the fact of nothing to be stolen anyway. I had the money I wanted to use for the night and if that was stolen doesn't really mean anything tomorrow except a different set of memories than the ones you had planned for. But I had a notebook in my pocket since my i-pad was full.
I went to the bar, resolved to leave at 9.30. then it rained on me as I went there, I actually ran through rain to get there and I was so cold the warm embrace of brandy was needed immediately. And once I touch her I go at it for hours, stopping just for conversation. In 3 all too short hours it was time to leave but it was raining. Raining hard and there were no umbrellas, no cars so we had to wait out the rain. And what else could we do as we waited but drink. The rain subsided at 10.30, at that point it was pretty easy for me to be convinced to go out. The most quietly whispered words would have moved me. And nobody was in the state of id for quietly whispered words.
So out I went. In the morning when I woke to consider my battle scars(a story for another day) I realised my notebook was gone. I had lost it during the night I am pretty sure noone steals notebooks, not half used ones anyway.
This is what I thought for a long time, then I changed my mind and imagined a guy at a club, a thief who pickpockets unwary revellers this guy has to drink so he's not 100% plus he has to act quickly. He has to take a phone when he gets the chance. He doesn't stop to consider the quality, he just picks up the phone and goes. So he saw a bulge in my pocket, saw how careless and generally unaware of my surroundings I was and took a chance. Picked it up and slipped it in without giving it a second look. Then with glee at a night well spent this person looked at their prize and found a half used notebook. Not a sellable item, not a usable item, not even an item with much value to anyone who can't read the chicken scratch I call my handwriting and that person had a horrible day, was in as bad a mood as if someone had stolen from him. So I sincerely hope that notebook as stolen. Some thief somewhere is pretty pissed. And it won't stop him thieving but for once the punishment will fit the crime, after all anyone who steals a half-used notebook deserves to have a half used notebook.